parenting tips

Discipline instead of Punishment

2007-06-29T00:24:00.000+08:00

Many of us think that discipline and punishment are the same. They are not.

What is discipline?

Discipline is guidance and teaching. It is the parent’s job to discipline their children. When we guide children towards positive behaviour and learning, we are promoting a healthy attitude. Parents need to teach standards, values and appropriate behaviours to respond to various situations in life. Discipline requires thought, planning, and patience. Positive guidance will encourage a child to think before she acts.

What is punishment?

Punishment is just a type of discipline. However, this is ineffective and mostly thoughtless. Punishment is usually hitting, spanking, or any form of behavioural control. There are normally 4 type of punishment:

Physical - Caning, slapping, spanking, hitting etc with a belt or ruler and so on.
Verbal - Shaming, name-calling, criticism, insulting or using derogatory words.
Remove incentive - e.g. "You can't go play with your neighbours if your homework is not done."
Penalty - e.g. "You can't have your pocket money because you didn’t get a perfect score for your spelling test."

Punishment causes three main reactions in children: I term it 3F.

Fright – the child feels frightened of you and may, in the short term, comply. Parents should guide children to do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. Definitely not because doing it because they are afraid of us.
Flight – a child might leave home. Or she might flee psychologically by not talking to parents. They will often choose to stop conversing with you.
Fight – a child might fight back trying to save her face. This will lead to arguments and power struggles.

Why then do we still use punishment? This is usually because it's quick and easy. It also asserts authority, or simply we do not know of other better methods.

None of these punishing acts will encourage cooperation or improve the parent-child relationship.

On the other hand, discipline – teaching, modeling, guiding, training etc. – can influence and shape children’s behaviour. It encourages cooperation and improves the parent child relationship.

101 Tips For Improving Children Behaviour

2007-01-20T23:43:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Dr Andy Gill and other authors for these 101 parenting tips on understanding and improving children’s behaviour. Nearly all frequently asked questions about children’s behaviour are included in this list. If you have a “strong-willed” child, you don’t need to feel distressed. Tips #5 provides you with a freebie, 5-week online self-help course to empower you to cope with him/her. Toddlers and preschoolers have endless effort to test your boundary with their weapon, throwing tantrums. Tips #8 Dealing With Tantrum suggests some measures that can help reduce the frequency of occurring. I think most parents cannot avoid the bedtime battle, Tips #11 shows you how to win the Bedtime Battle. Some tips, like Helping Your Child Learn Responsible Behaviour, Parenting Teens, The Debate Over Spanking not only give you the general information, but also some further readings or related links through which you can go into depth.

You can keep this complete 101 tips for improving children's behaviour as your parenting library or bookmark for your friend.

Cheers to all parents!

Tips On Choosing A Good School Bag

2006-12-13T12:47:00.000+08:00

Here are some tips for parents on the selection of a good school bag or backpack.

The bag should have strong back support. It has to be firm but flexible to ensure good contact with the child's back.

Check the position of the school bag. It should be positioned with its bottom just along the hip level and the top of the bag should be slightly above the shoulders.

The bag should not be positioned too low on the child's back. This will prevent strain on the child's neck and shoulders.

Teach the child to adjust the shoulder straps to get the bag in the correct position. Do this by bending forward and pulling the lower straps.

You can prevent the shoulder straps from slipping off by using the cross-chest strap.

The bag must always be carried on both shoulders. This is to protect the child's back and spine.

Consider the weight distribution of the items in the bag. Heavy items should be placed closest to the back and secured with the elastic straps.

Teach the child to avoid the extra weight by asking her to bring only the necessary items and repack it every day. This will cut down the total weight of the bag and thus will reduce the overall strain on the child's back.

Parents should take note of the maximum load of their children's school bags. The recommendation is that the weight of the full school bag should not exceed up to 15% of the child's body weight.

How To Help Your Child Make Friends

2006-12-11T23:37:00.000+08:00

Having friends is an important way for children to learn social skills. One of the critical parenting tasks is to offer help to your child in making friends, if she is a bit shy and seems unwilling to make friends.

If your child is on the shy side, try helping her by providing positive social interactions without making her feel awkward or pushed. Play dates or other social interactions should be encouraged. This will give your child a chance to hone her social skills and increase her confidence.

We can't choose our children's friends so ask your child who she likes spending time with at school and contact the child's parents to suggest a get- together. Start by inviting one child over and keep the time short to start with. One or two hours is enough time to get to know each other. Any longer and they may start to squabble.

Make sure to provide games and activities for your child that she enjoys and is good at. This will help ensure that your child is comfortable and confident. Make a few suggestions but let your child pick the activity before the play date. It is a good idea to stay involved with your child and her potential pal. Don't just leave them alone and hope it will all works out. You can supervise a play-pretend, cooking or craft project but allow the them to do as much on their own as possible. If your child is uncomfortable with you always being there, respect her wishes but be available if there are any conflicts or they become bored and want to change the activity.

Try to arrange regular play dates with the same children. If things go really well you can suggest an outing such as going to a park, watch a movie or some other activity. When your child is comfortable you can suggest that she has a play date at her friends' house. Let your child know that you are only a phone call away and they can come home anytime.

It also helps to play with your child on a regular basis. It will give you an idea where your child's strengths are and where she may struggle. Your child may be awesome at computer games but may have a hard time playing Lego or doing puzzles. These activities may frustrate your child and should not be included in a play date.

Try to find out what the flavor of the month is. Most children are often into some kind of fads such as certain trading cards or a special video game that everyone must have. The latest trend may not thrill you but it offers great bonding material and gives them something in common to talk about while they are forming a friendship.

It is also very important to talk to your child's teacher about any concerns you may have and have and work together on strategies to help your child make friends. Offer to volunteer in the classroom to get a good idea how your child interacts with her peers.

Most importantly, try not to expect too much from your child. Never make your child feel like she is being forced to make friends. When a child is shy, too much pressure can make a child feel even more insecure. Try not to focus on it and allow friendships to develop naturally. In most cases shyness and problems making friends for children is normal. But If your child constantly avoids eye contact, seems withdrawn or avoids children all together, it is time to talk to your family doctor.

And finally, something to inspire you for helping your child make friends:

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself"

Be Aware of the Warning Signs of Suicide

2006-11-30T00:34:00.000+08:00

I am writing this post as we had an unfortunate incident at workplace early this week. One of our colleague ended his life as he encountered difficult situation at work and couldn't figure a way out. As parents, let's be more aware of some warning signs of suicide and note our children behaviors too as school work is another stressful situation.

A suicidal person might show the following signs:

Talks about committing suicide
Has trouble eating or sleeping
Experiences drastic changes in behavior
Withdraws from friends and/or social activities
Loses interest in hobbies, work, school, etc.
Prepares for death by making out a will and final arrangements
Gives away prized possessions
Has attempted suicide before
Takes unnecessary risks
Has had recent severe losses
Is preoccupied with death and dying
Loses interest in their personal appearance
Increases their use of alcohol or drugs

What To Do?
Here are some ways to be helpful to someone who is threatening suicide:

Be direct. Talk openly and matter-of-factly about suicide.
Be willing to listen. Allow expressions of feelings. Accept the feelings.
Be non-judgmental. Don’t debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or feelings are good or bad. Don’t lecture on the value of life.
Get involved. Become available. Show interest and support.
Don’t dare him or her to do it.
Don’t act shocked. This will put distance between you.
Don’t be sworn to secrecy. Seek support.
Offer hope that alternatives are available but do not offer glib reassurance.
Take action. Remove means, such as guns or stockpiled pills.
Get help from persons or agencies specializing in crisis intervention and suicide prevention.

Be Aware of Feelings
Many people at some time in their lives think about committing suicide. Most decide to live, because they eventually come to realize that the crisis is temporary and death is permanent. On other hand, people having a crisis sometimes perceive their dilemma as inescapable and feel an utter loss of control. These are some of the feelings and things they experience:

Can’t stop the pain
Can’t think clearly
Can’t make decisions
Can’t see any way out
Can’t sleep, eat or work
Can’t get out of depression
Can’t make the sadness go away
Can’t see a future without pain
Can’t see themselves as worthwhile
Can’t get someone’s attention
Can’t seem to get control

If you experience these feelings, get help! If someone you know exhibits these symptoms, offer help!

Contact:
A community mental health agency
A private therapist or counselor
A school counselor or psychologist
A family physician
A suicide prevention or crisis center

Tips on Controlling Child Tantrums For Parents

2006-11-14T23:37:00.000+08:00

How can parents control toddlers who are easily prone to throwing tantrums in public and at home?

Young children lead very exciting and challenging lives. They have to learn everything from crawling, eating with utensils, drinking from a cup. They need to learn how to walk and be courteous and nice to everyone! Then they have to learn and realise that there are things that they cannot have.

Can you imagine their frustration of walking through Toy'sRus and superstores that are full of fascinating toys and yummy candies and all they hear is "No, no, no, Cannot, cannot, cannot"! When their frustration reaches levels they cannot handle, they have what we call "tantrums".

When a child is in full-blown temper tantrum, it is important for parents to realise that he/she is beyond reason. To try and argue with him/her out of the tantrum situation or yell at the child will just cause more emotions.

The most effective tool that a parent has for dealing with tantrums is to avoid them. Below are several tips:

(a) If you are taking your children on shopping trips, be sure to plan something suitable for them too (e.g. time to play in the child-play section or game room at the shopping mall).

(b) Give them warnings such as "In 15 minutes' time, we need to go".

(c) Have activities, snacks, toys available to keep them occupied there are long waits you can't avoid.

(d) Explain the situation such as "Let's get back because Daddy will be home and looking for us".

(e) At home, if the child's tantrum is to seek attention, then best bet is to ignore.

Hope these few tips are helpful in your parenting role.

Lone Kid on Rail Track

2006-11-14T12:58:00.000+08:00

What will be your decision if you are in this situation?

A group of children were playing near two railways, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track. The train came, and you were just beside the track interchange. You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids. However, that would mean the lone kid playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?

Lets take a pause to think about what kind of decision we could make......

How do you decide?

Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same I suppose. Saving most of the children at the expense of one child was rational, morally and emotionally.

BUT, have you ever thought that the child that chose to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safer place?

Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday.

In the office, community, politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are.

The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case if he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him

Personally, I would not try to change the course of the train because I believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have know very well that the track was still in use and that they should have ran away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought that the train would come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to that track, we could have put the lives of all passengers onboard at stake!

And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one kid, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save a few ignorant kids.

While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realise that hasty decisions may not always be the right one. "Remember that what's right may not be popular, and what's popular may not be right"

Everybody makes mistakes, that's why they put erasers on pencils.

Hope this article can offer you another paradigm.

Family Vacation: Do's and Don'ts

2006-11-12T21:21:00.000+08:00

The school vacation is starting in a week's time and many families will be taking time-off to go for holiday. Here are some Do's and Don'ts that may help you make your vacation an enjoyable experience:

Some Do's

Do Plan To Have Plenty Of Fun
Parents need to think ahead what the children and the adults would like to do. Discuss with them and involve them in your planning to gather ideas. It is more likely that the children will have plenty of fun if the activities are agreed on together.

Be careful not to let your vacation turns into a "watch-TV-in-the-hotel" routine. You need not fly all the way to Japan, New Zealand, Europe or Vanuatu to watch TV! So plan properly for the enjoyment of the family.

Do Plan Vacation According To The Ages of Children
Young children enjoy going to places where they can play with other children. They prefer activities in which they can jump, run, ride, climb, scream, etc. Taking them for a trip to hunt for antique would be most disastrous! They will be real bored and you will probably end up listening to many hours of complaints.

It may be better to plan part of the day on children's activities and then leaving some time when the adults can go hunting for antique or appreciate some European Art on their own.

On the other hand, older children will know how to occupy themselves. They may wish to enjoy a common activity with you and then go exploring or shopping on their own

Do Bring Along An Activity-Bag
Regardless of whether you are traveling by air, sea, train, coach or in a car, it is always useful to carry an activity-bag containing fun things for your children. These items should not be their everyday stories books or toys.

Consider some new thing to give it the novelty. Crossword puzzles, crayons with colouring books, crossword puzzles, word games, card games and activity books are some suggestions. This is especially essential for long periods of travel. It will help to keep the children occupied.

Do Build Up Children's Money Management Skills
It is a good opportunity during vacations for children to learn how to manage their money. They can be given a specific amount to spend and taught to budget carefully. Guide them to record their spending with notepads. This provides a good learning experience for children to handle actual cash transactions.

Do Involve Children in Learning Experiences
It is more meaningful to let your children have more information about the place they are going to visit. Before the trip, you can check up travel brochures with them; encourage them to find out more about the place of visit. Let them find out on historical sites and places of interest the family are planning to visit during the vacation.

Do Be Adventurous
Parents can set good examples by willing to try new ideas, new activities, new foods and new ways of doing things. By being adventurous, you are opening yourself and your family out to new experiences.

Do Expand Children's Writing Skills
Encourage your children to take notes throughout the trip. Allow them to use your camera or video recorder to capture pictures and video clips of the places visited. Children can then make a vacation scrapbook out of these items. They can write a few lines below each photograph/picture in the scrapbook.

Do Bring Essential Medication
Remember to pack some essential medicines for common relief of cold, fever, stomach ache, headache etc. Prepare and stand-by the necessary medication if your children have illness such as asthma, allergies.

Some Don'ts

Don't Nag!
It is usually the mothers that tend to nag at their children and spouses. Don't spoil the holiday by constantly nagging over how slow everyone is; why Daddy is wasting his money on getting that rare art item; why the children are staying in the pool for so long; why Dorothy or Nathan can't sit still; etc, etc

Don't Be Rigid With Your Schedule
Family vacation is the time to enjoy one another in a more relaxed setting. It is not necessary to follow rigidly to your schedule, like getting up at 6 am, having your breakfast at 7 am, going sightseeing, and sleeping at 9 pm. This is the time to laze a little and spend your day however you like it. It is not the right time for strict discipline. If you missed some of the planned activities for the day, you still have the next day. So relax, don't stress yourself out on a vacation.

Don't Be Too Upset Over Irregularities
It might be the weather, the travel agent, the itinerary, or even the country you are visiting, but errors or unforeseen incidents may happen at times to disrupt your vacation. Remain patient, be tolerant and show compassion. If you lose your cool and start to blame and reprimand your children or spouse, you will spoil the whole family enjoyment.

Take the opportunity of such experiences to teach your children how to resolve problems as a family. If you have lost your way, or the car breaks down, or someone get injured; get together as a family and try to find a solution

Don't Complain
Stop complaining if you want to have a great family vacation. Don't compare the shops, the food or the hotels with those in your home town. These are not going to be the same. So instead of complaining about the low-grade merchandise at the store or the tasteless food of the poor-service hotels, let's learn to make do with what is available. Every place is unique, and don't expect it to be of the same standard back home. Each has its own beauty and local flavour.

Don't Carry More Than You Need
Travel light. Consider the various seasons and carry appropriate clothing. Lugging your heavy baggage makes it unpleasant to move around conveniently. Remember that all of you will be adding more to your luggage as you shop around.

Making a trip together as a family is a precious experience that we should all treasure. Such experiences will normally leave an indelible mark in the memories of our children. This will be far-reaching in imparting them the value of family togetherness and happiness.

Ten Little Tips For New Parents

2006-11-08T22:47:00.000+08:00

Babies are the greatest gifts in life created, but never come with instructional manual.

The following little tips may help any new parents feeling blessed by the birth of their first baby, but also feeling overwhelmed by this amazing experience.

1. Give your newborn a lot of affection to make her feel safe in a world that is all new to her. Hug, love, cuddle and hold her as much as you can.

2. The baby is totally dependent on you for everything in her life. She cannot live without you.

3. Set up a schedule. Your newborn needs to be able to depend on certain activities taking place about the same time every day. Feeding, bathing, naps, fun and affection should be a part of every routine.

4. You will encounter many sleepless nights, as your baby awakens you with her cries. But time will fly fast and soon, the baby won’t be a baby for long. Experience and treasure each moment.

5. You have to learn on the job. Trust your parental instincts. Nobody is able to teach you how to be a parent. You know your baby better than anybody else.

6. A baby is a blessing. She is not a possession or a toy or someone to take for granted.

7. Children learn by example and close observation. Respect your child’s father or mother whether you’re still married to them or not. She will remember how her parents treat each other.

8. Cherish every day with your child. Parenting is going to be your most challenging and most rewarding experience of your life.

9. Being a parent is at minimum an 18 years commitment. You cannot quit halfway through.

10. Your life will not be the same again. Value this little miracle and remember she will always be a part of you. There should be nothing in the world to compete with your commitment to love your child.

Playing Scrabble Board Game

2006-11-05T21:27:00.000+08:00

It's unimaginable that a 6-year old child is expected to know many words and phrases back in 70's. During my kindergarten times, we were only taught the alphabet and numerals from 1-20. We were not expected to form words or construct simple sentences or do simple addition and subtraction.

This is no longer the case now. In pre-school education, these children are usually enrolled since the age of 3 or 4 years old starting from the nursery level, progressing to K1 and K2. They are expected to know the alphabet at the age of 4, and be able to read and construct simple sentences by 6 years old. Numeracy skill such as simple addition and subtraction is something expected of them before entering Primary 1.

Playing the Scrabble board game is one of the way I try to improve my child vocabulary. This morning, we had a game and these are some of the words we formed.

This is also a good way to foster parent-child relationship. I am sure the children will appreciate the time we shared with them.

Parenting Tip: Play Some Useful Board Games

Year End Concert - This Is THE Day

2006-11-04T22:49:00.000+08:00

Finally, the moment that they had been sweating for the past few weeks has arrived. This afternoon, the children and their parents gathered at the concert venue. Some children have also purchased tickets for their grand-parents to watch their performances.

I have managed to snap a few pictures during their show, although the audience are advised that photography and video capturing are not allowed. But, you know, most parents were discreetly snapping pictures and videotaping. Like to share some pictures here. I have not learn how to upload video clips yet. Would like to show you the clips too once I find out the 'how-to' part.

Photo-taking with friends after the show.

Year End Concert -- Preparation For Full Rehearsal

2006-11-03T22:07:00.000+08:00

More pictures on the day of full dress rehearsal on Friday morning. These are taken before boarding the school bus to the concert venue.

Parenting Tip: Be Involved and Give Support

The Importance of Giving Praise

2006-11-02T23:52:00.000+08:00

It is just not in Asian values to give appropriate praises to your loved one. Shouting at your children in public areas is more common than hearing parental encouragement and praises to their children.

Praise is a very potent influence for encouraging self-esteem, particularly if the focus is on her achievements, not on her value as person. However, there's a tendency, especially when praising the efforts of young children, to praise indiscriminately. If you praise everything, then praise loses its value.Let's look at the following 2 comments

a) "You did a great job of cleaning your room. That must have make you feel very proud"

b) "You are such a good girl for putting away your toys after play."

The latter comment implies that if she does not perform to your expectation, you may value her less. Praise should be aimed at enhancing the joy a child takes in her accomplishments.

Try to avoid comparisons to others in your praise. It is sufficient to compliment her for doing something well; She does not need to be told that she did it better than her peers.

Parents that praise a smart child for her intelligence may make the youngster anxious and ill-prepared to deal with failure. A child should feel special and competent, not necessarily superior. Praising children's intelligence, far from boosting their self-esteem, encourages them to embrace self-defeating behaviors such as worrying about failure and avoiding risks. A child whose parents have led her to believe that she is smarter or better-looking or stronger than everyone else may face difficulties in making friends in school.

Parenting Tip: Apply Praise Appropriately To Enhance Self-Esteem

Year End Concert - Some Rehearsal Pictures

2006-11-02T21:24:00.000+08:00

Would like to dedicate a few posts here to my daughter and share her joy of her preparation of the year-end concert. These were taken on Wednesday at the school compound in one of the rehearsal.

How to raise a wayward child -- Parenting Nightmare

2006-11-01T13:02:00.000+08:00

My ex-colleague emails these 'tips' to me on parenting nightmare if your child is not raised properly.

How to raise a wayward child

a) Never have traditional family activities that your children look forward to.
b) Always prefer material pursuits to family activities.
c) Never correct your children. Always assume that they are right and everyone else is wrong.
d) Always pick up after your children; never give them any responsibility.
e) Never listen to your children; talk at them, not to them.
f) Always solve your childrenÃ’s problem and make their decisions for them.
g) Never give your children any meaningful spiritual training. Instead emphasize religious ritual, outward appearances.
h) Warn your children of the danger of drugs while you are an alcoholicgamblerlIr.
i) Continually tell others what great things your children are doing Ã– and always expect them to win.
j) Never let your children experience cold, fatigue, adventure, injury, risk, challenge, experimentation, failure, frustration or discouragement.
k) Disobey the law in front of your children and tell them by your attitude that the laws were passed for everyone but you.
l) Never eat together as a family.

You might not agree with some of these parenting tips. For me, I do not think it is inappropriate to tell others and boast of your children great things. And what is wrong about expecting your child to win and become champion?

IMO, never eating together as a family is surely going to lead to family problems. Not just parenting issues, it may lead to broken marriages.

Parenting /Family Tip: Eat Together as a Family.

Excitement of Year-End Concert

2006-10-31T13:00:00.000+08:00

This evening when I reached home, I was greeted by my daughter's excitement and enthusiasm to show me her concert costumes. She collected her costumes during the day. Her concert will be held this Saturday afternoon. The concert is an annual event organized in every November. Parents, family members and friends can purchase tickets to attend.

This year concert is especially important for her as she is graduating from her kindergarten studies. As graduating student, she will take part in 3 performances. This is a key milestone for her. She will go to Primary School (Junior School equivalent) in 2007.

She happily put on the costumes and her black shoes which was bought last week. She was so excited and wanted to rehearse her items to my wife and me. We sat at the couch and watched her sing and dance. We clapped and cheered her on.

She has grown from a very shy girl to one who is courageous enough to face the audience. Isn't this a parenting joy, to watch her growth and reached another milestone?

I am looking forward to see her perform on stage this Saturday.

Parenting Tip: Share your children's joy and give a lot of encouragement

Outdoor Activities - Fresh Air Again

2006-10-30T03:10:00.000+08:00

Finally, I had the chance to enjoy some outdoor activities this weekend. For the last few weeks, the haze in this part of the world (South East Asia) has been so bad that it became very hazardous to bring my family to the park or the beach. This morning the PSI (Pollutant Standard Index) was about 50, compared with PSI of > 100 for most of the previous weekends.

This morning, I brought my daughter to the neighbourhood park for brisk walking. We had not done this for almost a month. We also played badminton for about 30 minutes at the open court 2 blocks away from my home. Not exactly playing proper badminton as this is the first time that she is holding the racket hitting the shuttlecock. She was enjoying herself although she missed the hits most of the time.

A good physical activity this weekend. We hope the haze situation will improve permanently, so that when the school vacation starts in about 2 weeks time, she can have more of these fun outdoor activities.

The Quotients That Determine Life Successes - Essential Parenting Info

2006-10-29T13:00:00.000+08:00

What are the quotients that may determine success in life? These are:

IQ (intelligence Quotient), which measures the potential cognitive skill or what people generally understand as intelligence in a person
EQ (Emotional Quotient), which measures how well a person interacts and gets along with others.
AQ (Adversity Quotient), which determines one's abilities to overcome setbacks.

How to develop IQ? I found that this Q is very crucial in the early stage of a child development cycle. Especially, from the age of 6 months to 3 years, every interaction contributes to the child's brain development.

Sensory experiences like seeing, hearing and touching stimulate brain activity and the growth of brain cells. Involve your child in many sensory experiences but ensure that she is enjoying herself and having a lot of fun. To help your toddler cope with new experience, you can provide her with familiar base to return to after exploring something new. E.g. when she is checking out a new toy, help her by playing together with her on her new toy first. This is to allay her initial fear.

Language skills also blossom during the age of 2-3 years. Read, sing and talk to your child often.

At this age, it is also key to provide proper nutrition, as there is a brain growth spurt - the time when her brain is developing rapidly. There are some key nutrients which are very important for brain development. These are Taurine, DHA (Docosahexaenoic acid), AA (arachidonic acid), Choline.

Taurine is an amino acid found naturally in mother's milk. That's why breast-feeding is highly recommended. This nutrient is key to overall mental and physical development.

DHA and AA are important building blocks of the brain, nervous system and eye. DHA can be found in fatty cold-water fish like salmon, trout, sardines. (mackerel is a good source too, however the level of mercury in this fish is also higher). We can also consider cod-liver oil supplement, but my child is not receptive to this. Fortunately, she has a liking for salmon. AA is found in egg yolk, meats in general, particularly organ meats, and other animal-based foods. These 2 nutrients may help in the support of a child's concentration, and therefore their learning ability and behaviour.

Choline aids in memory development and promotes energy and delay fatigue. It can be found in egg yolks and organ meats.

I am glad that my daughter likes to eat egg very much and she enjoys eating meat.

Parenting Tip: Eat Well and Look out for such Key Nutrients in Food

What is Parenting

2006-10-29T12:44:00.000+08:00

Was wondering after being a parent for 6 years, i actually do not know what is the defintion of Parenting ? So what exactly is parenting. Since I am not sure, I asked Wikipedia

Parenting
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Parenting is the process of raising and educating a child from birth until adulthood. This is usually done in a child's family by the mother and father (i.e., the biological parents). Where parents are unable or unwilling to provide this care, it is usually taken on by close relatives (including older siblings) and grandparents, adoptive parents, foster parents, godparents, or institutions (such as group homes or orphanages). Parens patriae refers to the public policy power of the state to usurp the rights of the natural parent, legal guardian or informal caregiver, and to act as the parent of any child or individual who is in need of protection (i.e. if the child's caregiver is exceedingly violent or dangerous).

Huh? a mouthful of terms, but in essence, I think is really a process of providing the best guidance and care to educate a child from her birth until adulthood. (In Singapore this means 21 years old, but likely to be 18 or 20 in most parts of the world). That means another 15 years of 'duty' for me? But in reality, does the parenting process stop there, when your child reaches adulthood? I am still constantly being cared and guided by my parents, although I have reached adulthood 20 years back.

Parenting Tip: It is a life-long process.

Parenting Role

2006-10-29T00:31:00.000+08:00

As parents, we must remember that parents exert great influences and impact to the overall development of their child. Thus, it is definitely a very challenging task to fulfil the parenting role. Can you still remember how your young one learn when you were out with her in the park or garden?

A young toddler reaches out for a sunflower held in her mother's hand and a learning experience has started. The child feels the smooth stem of the flower. She smells it and takes in the scent. She sees the bright and bold yellow colour and hears her mother's voice say "Flower. See the pretty flower?" As her young mind gathers these sensory messages, new connections are formed, associations made and memories stored. Soon, the benefit of this brief experience and other similar incidents will be evident. One day, your child seeing another sunflower, will exclaim to her mother and say, "Flower! Pretty flower." Isn't it amazing?

Indeed, to babies and young children, the whole world is an exciting classroom and each day is filled with small but important lessons. Most of these valuable lessons are taught by the child's first and most influential guides -- her parents. While it's true that a child's ability to master life's lessons is determined to a large extent by the mental capacities she is born with, her environment and the people who interact with her also play a great part and exert very powerful influences on her learning ability.

Thus, there is much we can do in our parenting role to help our child develop her natural abilities to the fullest. I am not suggesting that you should bombard her with instructions at an early age. Rather, at all ages and stages, we should give our child stimulation, encouragement and freedom to explore. We have to note too, that intellect is only one aspect of a child's overal potential: brain power must be well balanced with social, emotional, physical well-being if a child is truly to excel and flourish.

Parenting Tips: Play our Role. Do not leave it to the maid.

Spare The Rod and Spoil The Child?

2006-10-23T15:27:00.000+08:00

In a survey conducted by Singapore Children's Soceity last year that comprised interviews with > 500 children aged 10 to 12 and their parents, it was noted that reasoning with your children works better than physical punishment.

The survey results which were released to the public 2 days ago also concluded that; to a child, to be told he is not loved is a far worse punishment than being smacked by his parents.

So you might want to question the effectiveness of the 'rod' or cane in this age.

Social workers and educators that advocate the reasoning approach, highlighted that it takes more effort, time and patience to reason with your child as compared to physical punishment or emotional blackmail and threats. Using physical or emotional disciplinary measures are "easy options" but are noted to be less effective, especially to the notorious/naughty children.

There are other aspects to the survey, which I hope to share with you in future posts once I have the full results/findings.

Warm Welcome to Parenting Tips 101 resources

2006-10-20T00:29:00.000+08:00

I can't believe it. I have actually created a blog!!

Thanks to William that I have achieved this.

For the rest of you, a big WELCOME to this blog http://parenting-tips-101.blogspot.com/

I would like to use this blog to share and talk about parenting tips. Some of these parenting tips will be either my own experience or tips I picked up from others in parenting roles.

Other tips on parenting which I came across in periodicals, books, tv or newsprint media etc. will also be made available here to provide you with more resources or references to better ourselves as responsible parents.

So stay tuned and come back often.

Cheers.