The Importance of Giving Praise

It is just not in Asian values to give appropriate praises to your loved one. Shouting at your children in public areas is more common than hearing parental encouragement and praises to their children.

Praise is a very potent influence for encouraging self-esteem, particularly if the focus is on her achievements, not on her value as person. However, there's a tendency, especially when praising the efforts of young children, to praise indiscriminately. If you praise everything, then praise loses its value.Let's look at the following 2 comments

a) "You did a great job of cleaning your room. That must have make you feel very proud"

b) "You are such a good girl for putting away your toys after play."

The latter comment implies that if she does not perform to your expectation, you may value her less. Praise should be aimed at enhancing the joy a child takes in her accomplishments.

Try to avoid comparisons to others in your praise. It is sufficient to compliment her for doing something well; She does not need to be told that she did it better than her peers.

Parents that praise a smart child for her intelligence may make the youngster anxious and ill-prepared to deal with failure. A child should feel special and competent, not necessarily superior. Praising children's intelligence, far from boosting their self-esteem, encourages them to embrace self-defeating behaviors such as worrying about failure and avoiding risks. A child whose parents have led her to believe that she is smarter or better-looking or stronger than everyone else may face difficulties in making friends in school.

Parenting Tip: Apply Praise Appropriately To Enhance Self-Esteem